Creation in Verse - A

The Mirror of Erised    

by A.

What do you see when you look at me?

Do you see my long black hair?

Do you see my “great” height?

Or do you see my long, long legs?

Do you see the wine coloured lipstick I apply to me make me feel more like me?

Do you see the smile on my face,

My eyes crinkling with the sheer force of it?

Do you realise how forced and fake it is?

Or instead, like me,

Do you only see my flaws,

My imperfections?

When I see myself in the mirror

All I see is my “great” height

Making me feel like a giant,

Like Gulliver on Lilliput island

When I see myself in the mirror

I see my beady black eyes

Shaped like almonds, drooping low because of the paths carved by my tears 

down my chubby cheeks, full of secrets that I can’t reveal.

I see my huge nose

And my double chin

I see the scars dotting the length of my legs

Like blots of ink, spilt, accidentally, on a masterpiece.

When I see myself in the mirror

I see my fat thighs 

I see the way my waist pinches when I tie my lehenga  a little too tight

Just the way I like it.

When I look in the mirror,

I see these lies that I reiterate to myself

Like little drops of poison slowly making their way into my bloodstream

I tell myself these lies so often that I now believe them.

I have such faith in the truth of these lies that I refuse to hear anyone against them.

So dear everyone 

Who tells me that I’m beautiful enough

To have flowers growing on my waist, creeping around it and encircling it a pinch too tight for me to breathe,

And that roses have thorns too,

I’ll hear you, I promise I will

But have patience

For I’ll have a hard time believing you

Because that girl that you see

Dancing in the streets to the beat of her own song, 

with melliflous laughter that escapes her mouth too often

Somehow just doesn’t exist for me.